HUMOR HAS IT!

(note: I am going on a date with my wife today. These are some chuckles I have saved for inspiration. Hope you enjoy!)

A DIET IS A WEIGH OF LIFE.

IT’S NOT THE MINUTES SPENT AT THE TABLE THAT PUT ON WEIGHT, IT’S THE SECONDS.

IT’S SOMETHING MOST OF US DO RELIGIOUSLY: WE EAT WHAT WE WANT AND PRAY WE DON’T GAIN WEIGHT.

THE PROBLEM WITH CURBING OUR APPETITES IS THAT MOST OF US DO IT AT THE DRIVE IN WINDOW OF MCDONALDS.

THE MOST FATTENING THING YOU CAN PUT IN AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE IS A SPOON.

SWEETS ARE THE DESTINY THAT SHAPES OUR ENDS.

DIETS ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE THICK AND TIRED OF IT.

THE TOUGHEST PART OF A DIET ISN’T WATCHING WHAT YOU EAT. IT’S WATCHING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE EAT.

DIETS ARE FOR WOMEN WHO NOT ONLY KEPT THEIR GIRLISH FIGURE BUT DOUBLED IT.

A DIET IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO SOME LENGTH TO CHANGE YOUR WIDTH.

MOST PEOPLE GAIN WEIGHT BY HAVING INTIMATE DINNERS FOR TWO…ALONE.

PEOPLE GO TO WEIGHT WATCHERS TO LEARN THEIR LESSENS.

A DIET IS THE MODERN-DAY MEAL IN WHICH A FAMILY COUNTS ITS CALORIES INSTEAD OF ITS BLESSINGS.

A DIET IS WHAT YOU GO ON WHEN NOT ONLY CAN’T YOU FIT INTO THE STORE’S DRESSES, YOU CAN’T FIT INTO THE DRESSING ROOM.

ONE GUIDELINE APPLIES TO FAT AND THIN PEOPLE ALIKE: IF YOU’RE THIN, DON’T EAT FAST. IF YOU’RE FAT, DON’T EAT – FAST.

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